On a quest to save her tooth but make the pain go away! One woman’s random thoughts while at the dentist!

Not my typical blog of a long drawn out story. Just my thoughts firing off in my mind. Scary right? This is also dedicated to my brother in law Gato. Who is a dentist. And probably has to deal with my kind of stupid on a daily basis

When your at the dentist office and they announce someone’s name. It’s funny how no one wants to respond. Everyone is like,” Nope not me! “. Bet your ass if you were at the DMV everyone would want to be Carol!

Water and music is not relaxing me. I only want to pee or do karaoke. Please make it stop?

It’s not really reassuring when they take you to the room in the very back of the office. Like are you planning on me screaming really loud? Or is this where you take the “special” patients who ignore the dentist’s original advice.

“Can you open your mouth any wider?” “Wow! Your mouth is small!”All I can think is sorry I’m not a hooker!

They were trying to get that thing in my mouth to do an X-ray. In my defense she told me to bite down. Not my fault she didn’t move her finger. A little embarrassed because as a toddler I never bit anyone. Oops! Makes sense why they are trying to pawn me off to a “specialist” now. Get labeled as a biter and it’s game over for you!

When they say you have to go to see a specialist first. And you look at them like what the hell are you? Obviously not the Endodontics. What the hell kind of name is that? I never finished the Harry Potter books because I couldn’t pronounce the character’s name? Now, you want to send me to some shady person who “specializes” in torture? And then you tell me I’m going there because they are going to use a microscope to determine how my tooth is cracked! WTF lady?You were just telling me how small my mouth was as you struggled to get an X-ray. Now, you want to stick a damn microscope in it? Are you for real. Should I have complimented your hair when I met you?You better write me a prescription for anxiety while your at it!

At first they weren’t sure how quickly they could get me in to see the “specialist”. So, I asked the dental assistant what do I do for pain in the meantime? “Alternate Tylenol and Motrin. It’s works better than narcotics and they aren’t addicting?” Are you shitting me right now? What part of pain aren’t you understanding? I am okay with becoming crackhead bob for a few days. Dentist comes to talk to me and tells me the same thing. Alternate Tylenol and Motrin for pain.Your not a dentist are you? You are a sadist! And I just want to thank all the people who had to go and get addicted to pain pills. You screwed it for the rest of us who know how to read directions!

When they told me they still might find that the tooth can’t be saved.What? OMG! My worse nightmare is coming true. I’m going to be toothless. I’m sorry I didn’t get a crown right when you told me! But please don’t make me look like I starred in Deliverance. Fuck it! You mind as just mind as we’ll play banjo music when you give people this kind of news. My life is over! I’ll never be able to smile again!

I never thought I would actually be begging for a root canal. But here I am! Begging for them to give the green light for me to get tortured. Because let’s face it! No one understands my speech anyways. You take another tooth away and I’m going to need a translator. I’ll sound like Mr. Busy the beaver from Lady and the tramp.