I use to be nice. But apparently a toothache has the power to turn you into the spawn of Satan!

It’s funny how normally I am sane( my husband is going to read this and do the eye roll) but then I get a good old toothache sprinkled with some severe menstrual cramps and now I’m like a category 5 hurricane. Even the dogs are keeping their distance from me!

I’m pacing the house talking to myself. The neighbors are probably popping their popcorn get ready for the great finale. Because even they know I’m one episode away from being the star of a Snapped episode.

If you didn’t read my ramblings from yesterday. I’ll give you a quick recap . Have a bad tooth. Was trying to save it. Got referred to a specialist. But his cost of saving it was definitely not in my price bracket. Decided what’s one less tooth? Now, I’m waiting for the dentist to call me back to get this sucker pulled. Like a mouth exorcism…”Be gone Satan!”

So, that’s where I am now. But unfortunately pain makes any kind of rational thinking obsolete. If I was a good patient I would have waited for them to call me. Like they said they would. Or give them to Thursday like they asked. But in a moment of temporary insanity I decided to make harassing dentist receptionists a new hobby. That’s right I’ve lost all self respect. I waited an hour after I knew they opened and then called them. But do you think I could sound like a rational person? Hell no! I sounded like a deranged person! I was like I know you were going to call me but I don’t understand why you have to wait for the “specialist’s” opinion. Because I’m not going with their”could have went on a trip instead” root canal. I’m getting my tooth pulled! And I needed this sucker pulled like yesterday. I can not wait till tomorrow for you guys to let me know that you finally heard back. Because you guys aren’t opened Friday. And I can not wait till next week to get this pulled or I’ll will be crazy from the pain! And yes William(my husband who is thinking ya right you said that) I told her I would be crazy if I had to wait till next week!

Apparently crazy is the magic word. Either that or she was calling the Police when she had me on hold. But she did tell me they wouldn’t wait for their email. That she would call the office so they could that report faster. Because they didn’t want me to go through the weekend in pain either. She’s obviously well trained in talking down crazy people. I wonder if they go through some kind of special training on how to deal with irrational people. I might ask to sign up because when I convert back to being a Normal human being I could use this training for my job!

So, it’s been 149 minutes since I hung up with her. Not that I’m counting minutes. Because that would just be insane. I’ve checked the ringer on my phone at least a half a dozen times. It’s on in case you were wondering. And I’m trying to hold off to using that medicine for toothache pain. Yes, it works. But dear god does it burn. My lips usually look like Ronald McDonald’s the time I’m done. I don’t know what’s worse… tooth pain or feeling like someone shoved a handful of cinnamon fireballs in your mouth then duck taped it so you couldn’t spit them out.

If I survive this ordeal I will write a book titled, “You should always listen to your dentist first” and ” How not to act like a rambling psychopath”. In the meantime I will wait for my phone to ring. And hope they get me in today!!!! Otherwise I’m scheduling a hair appointment before I show up on the 5 o’clock news.